Ten Things To Do If Your Girlfriend Or Wife Is Mad At You

1. Buy a new car. Women love cars. The more expensive the car, the better. Women also love self confidence. Nothing say self-confidence like expensive car.

Expensive Car

2. Tell her how lucky she is to be with you. Again, more self confidence. Women love that stuff. You probably should say it real loud too. Yelling is an effective means of communication.

Blue Horseshoe

3. Find her favorite piece of jewelry and hide it. This is a skills building exercise. You are helping her in so many ways. While she searches the house frantically, she gets to look at everything you brought her. Nothing says love like gift and memories. She is also getting cardio because her heart rate is elevated because anxiety is getting the best of her. She will probably look in two to three hour clips for the missing jewelry. That is a lot of cardio. You can have fun and mix it up with this one. Next time mail it to her. Use 8th class if possible, it will take weeks to get back to her. Again, a lot of cardio.

Gents wedding ring

4. When she is watching her favorite show, turn the radio up real loud. You are giving her more choices. What woman wouldn’t want that.

Radio

5. Siphon her gas out of her car and take her cell phone. This is another skills building exercise. You are helping develop her survival skills. For example, she stalls out on the highway. Reflex response kicks in. She either makes it or not. That is a strong message. You are saying, I am dead serious about this relationship. Why do you take her cell phone? Good question. You are encouraging exercise for her to get the gas. Also you are encouraging her to meet new people because she cannot call anyone she knows, mainly you. You went through all the trouble of setting this up, why should you prevent it from running its course?

Siphoning Gas

6. Remove all of the heels from her shoes. I am pretty sure wearing high heels are brutal. You can eliminate that problem for her. Also, you get to use tools. You’re being a little selfish with this one, but that is okay. Try a hammer. You will not be disappointed.

Broken Heel

7. Cancel all of her credit cards. Most couples get together relatively broke and build financial stability together. By canceling the cards, you are taking her on a trip down memory lane back to where it all started. Women love memories.

Canceled Credit Card

8. When she asks you a question, repeat the question. Do not answer the question. You will ruin the message. By repeating her, you are saying your words are so important I have to repeat them. Kids and parrots do it all the time. Mimicry is the greatest form of flattery, right?

Talking parrot

9. Be helpful and offer to store away her off season clothes. Put the clothes in a tote or garment bag and use moths instead of moth balls. Most women love shop. You are giving her a reason to shop.

Moth

10. Tell her you have an incurable disease. Don’t use an existing one. Make up a new one and put some effort into it. Your goal is to shocked away the anger. Dig deep, I know you have it in you. This is like the get of out jail free card in Monopoly. However, you can only use it once. Choose wisely my friend.

Get out of jail free card

If you are going to listen to any of this advice, don’t! If you do, you are asking to die. You have been warned.

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